I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
