Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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