I could have mohawked her pubes.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
