Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm too high and old for this...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize