We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
