What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
