yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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