i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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