How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize