are you so shy because you have an std?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
