I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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