wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
