I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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