so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Your cock deserves a montage
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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