The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
