i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
True strength comes from lack of pants
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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