all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
