I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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