I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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