it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
