"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
