Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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