All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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