went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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