used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
