haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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