hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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