Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
