So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Randomize
