So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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