yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
