My underwear smells like fireworks.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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