I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
