I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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