They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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