tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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