I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
