No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
