We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
