Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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