this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
