Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
