Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
