My first STD was from a foam party
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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