So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
