I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
