i think i have two assholes
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
