My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize