don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
