We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
