Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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