How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
