It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
