maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
