Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
