Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just took my morning after pill in the library
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
